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So, I'm here, on a platform new for me and a little bit weird. My name is Lecter, I'm a previously tumblr-famous map ally, and I plan to post about map issues on here. I'm an adult queer man, paraphiliac, survivor of various types of abuse. I live in Russia and currently study psychology.
When I say I support maps, I mean that I'm an ally to anti contact minor attracted people. I do not advocate for child abuse and do not believe people below 16 can consent. But I support humane treatment of maps, because age based attractions are inborn, unchosen, and unchangeable, and don't define what you will want to do with your life. I'm always available to answer questions.
Mar. 21st, 2023 04:13 am
New blog, some changes
Does anyone still check on me here? I have a new blog: https://wierstamann.net/
I will probably continue using this page for poetry, when I come up with more, but the political stuff will be there. There is also more about how to contact me and other places to read what I write. Come hang out with me.
I will probably continue using this page for poetry, when I come up with more, but the political stuff will be there. There is also more about how to contact me and other places to read what I write. Come hang out with me.
Mar. 16th, 2021 02:17 am
Spare me your goodbyes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AiI2oc6YXk&t=28s
You have seen me. Intrigued and enchanted
By the fleeting impression I gave
You have taken your safety for granted,
Tracked me down, and found a cave.
So descend for me down below,
Hold your breath, gather senses, and pray.
Find the usual route I go
By the delicate trail of decay.
If you venture for me underground,
You will enter a hollow space.
Rotten mist will be swirling around,
Falling out in drops on your face.
So descend for me down below,
I will give you my bloated heart.
It can't beat, but can shimmer and glow,
Just like radium coming apart.
In this cavity creatures don't chatter,
Winds don't blow, and grasses don't bloom,
Sticky waves separate, sink, and shatter
Barren islands in cloudy gloom.
So descend for me down below,
To be honored as one of my kin.
I will share the secrets I know,
My disease will take roots in your skin.
Leave it all, your concerns and your worries,
Hold my hand in the soaked abyss,
As I whisper apocalypse stories
In a voiceless and feverish hiss.
So descend for me down below,
I'll expose my festering slits.
I don't think I can ever say "no"
To the fragrance your spirit emits.
Are you tempted or are you dissuaded?
This is only for you to decide.
My appearance, withered and faded,
Lets you guess what is hidden inside.
So descend for me down below.
Or be wiser and let me slip by.
For without a tender "hello"
There won't be a bitter "goodbye".
You have seen me. Intrigued and enchanted
By the fleeting impression I gave
You have taken your safety for granted,
Tracked me down, and found a cave.
So descend for me down below,
Hold your breath, gather senses, and pray.
Find the usual route I go
By the delicate trail of decay.
If you venture for me underground,
You will enter a hollow space.
Rotten mist will be swirling around,
Falling out in drops on your face.
So descend for me down below,
I will give you my bloated heart.
It can't beat, but can shimmer and glow,
Just like radium coming apart.
In this cavity creatures don't chatter,
Winds don't blow, and grasses don't bloom,
Sticky waves separate, sink, and shatter
Barren islands in cloudy gloom.
So descend for me down below,
To be honored as one of my kin.
I will share the secrets I know,
My disease will take roots in your skin.
Leave it all, your concerns and your worries,
Hold my hand in the soaked abyss,
As I whisper apocalypse stories
In a voiceless and feverish hiss.
So descend for me down below,
I'll expose my festering slits.
I don't think I can ever say "no"
To the fragrance your spirit emits.
Are you tempted or are you dissuaded?
This is only for you to decide.
My appearance, withered and faded,
Lets you guess what is hidden inside.
So descend for me down below.
Or be wiser and let me slip by.
For without a tender "hello"
There won't be a bitter "goodbye".
Tags:
Mar. 16th, 2021 02:13 am
For the good tomorrow
A poem from this spring that I forgot to post.
Maybe we're all fishes
In the reefs of political unity.
Can't swim, but if the community wishes,
I go with the community.
Recently things feel scattered,
And colder with every hour.
So I shed what once mattered
And aim for the greater power.
I emerge at the last frontier,
Take me whole, hate me or love me,
But I won't drop a single tear
For the ones that dream they're above me.
Us alone define what our must is,
We're unfit for the rules of normality.
Believe not in the crowd's justice,
Spill blood for your true morality.
Here I am, I will pave my route
Through today with its pain and sorrow.
There's nothing that can put out
All my trust in the good tomorrow.
Maybe we're all fishes
In the reefs of political unity.
Can't swim, but if the community wishes,
I go with the community.
Recently things feel scattered,
And colder with every hour.
So I shed what once mattered
And aim for the greater power.
I emerge at the last frontier,
Take me whole, hate me or love me,
But I won't drop a single tear
For the ones that dream they're above me.
Us alone define what our must is,
We're unfit for the rules of normality.
Believe not in the crowd's justice,
Spill blood for your true morality.
Here I am, I will pave my route
Through today with its pain and sorrow.
There's nothing that can put out
All my trust in the good tomorrow.
Tags:
May. 16th, 2020 10:09 pm
Mapcourse & fujocourse
This is a repost from my WordPress, because I feel like more people will care about this topic here.
I’m periodically active on Tumblr, although not with anything map after 2018, and I often see discourse around the term “fujoshi”. This word, literally meaning “rotten woman”, appeared as a derogatory term in Japan, targeting women who like yaoi or male/male pairings in general. “Rotten” because the homophobic men who made it up didn’t want to have relationships with women who have a positive view on male homosexuality. As it often happens, the term was reclaimed and turned into an empowering label. Years after it spawned male and gender neutral variants, “fudanshi” and “fujin” accordingly. Western yaoi fans and m/m shippers (a shipper is a person who imagines fictional characters as a couple) picked up on it. Some people identifying with this term, mostly preteen and young teen girls back in 00s, created a bit of a bad reputation for it, by extending shipping onto real life gay men and making insensitive comments about them. That trend ended quickly, these girls grew up, and the new generation already knew better. However, up to this date antis on Tumblr hate fujoshi and accuse them of inappropriate behavior. Here are some examples:
“mlm happiness and saftey > fujoshi’s feelings” via mlmsouji
“fujoshis are terrible. all gay people hate fujoshis. fictional gay people hate them too. even the characters they ship hate them. marvelous.” via lesbiananti (not a troll, mind you, but a known blogger who’s also antimap)
“(op was a transmed so im stealing the post) if you support fujoshi culture and sexualize gay/bi men then unfollow me because i do not respect or care for you.” via yamchass
via kissesofaprincess
Do you see the same thing I see? Quite similar, only watered down, pettyposting that antis also engage in on map topics. Just swap “gay men” for “kids” and you get it. While it’s an established fact that the overwhelming majority of modern day fujoshi don’t act inappropriately with gay men, don’t sexually harass anyone, and keep their fantasies appropriately tagged. The similarities between anti fujoshi and anti map behavior don’t end here. In both cases you can discreetly descibe a respectful fujoshi (a woman who has m/m pairings) or an anti contact map (a person who’s attracted to children, but won’t act on it because they don’t want to traumatize them), the anti’s attitude might be more favorable. I’ve seen both situations myself. But it’s the “sin” of identifying with the label of a fujoshi or a map that makes them go wild. On a side note, no, dropping either of these labels won’t lessen the harassment, siding with other fujoshi or maps produces the same effect. Both cases are a quite radical case of what I call “war on words” – attaching as much stigmatizing meanings to important labels of someone you dislike. Most maps don’t act sexually with kids, that’s a fact. Map advocates of social media co work with CSA preventing organizations and aid research. Most fujoshi don’t approach gay men inappropriately either. Many of them are not straight themselves and are well aware of how homophobia and dehumanization in media works. Yet both groups are stereotyped as sexual predators with zero sympathy for their victims. A bonus fact: as a part of posing every single m/m shipper as a fetishizing straight girl, antis erase the terms “fudanshi” and “fujin”, which is basically misgendering of male and nonbinary shippers.
Yet many fujoshi refuse to recognize the similarity. They speak up against misinformation and stigma that targets them, but believe the same things hurting maps are justified. For many of them it’s fear. There were many pro map shippers in 2017, but antis increased harassment, and by 2018 most simply dropped out. The blog called block-report-program, dedicated to documenting and reporting abuse from antis, is a good example of that. Initially they accepted the receipts of antimaps’ abuse that I provided, but ended up deleting the posts and blocking maps – not because maps did something wrong, but because antis made a scene. Some fujoshi, however, are sincerely mislead about maps and don’t seek to check their beliefs due to lack of critical thinking. I became convinced long ago that looking for unity with shippers is a dead end, they might be hurt by the same people, but the temptation to deflect that abuse and direct it towards us is too strong. Many freedom and civil rights movements end up finding someone more oppressed to toss to their abusers in attempts to uplift themselves (e.g., white women demanding voting rights and excluding black women, some gays and lesbians trying to deplatform trans people). As a strategy it doesn’t work, it’s basically “divide and conquer” by the divided’s own hands. But people walk into this trap over and over again, because they don’t learn from history.
I’m periodically active on Tumblr, although not with anything map after 2018, and I often see discourse around the term “fujoshi”. This word, literally meaning “rotten woman”, appeared as a derogatory term in Japan, targeting women who like yaoi or male/male pairings in general. “Rotten” because the homophobic men who made it up didn’t want to have relationships with women who have a positive view on male homosexuality. As it often happens, the term was reclaimed and turned into an empowering label. Years after it spawned male and gender neutral variants, “fudanshi” and “fujin” accordingly. Western yaoi fans and m/m shippers (a shipper is a person who imagines fictional characters as a couple) picked up on it. Some people identifying with this term, mostly preteen and young teen girls back in 00s, created a bit of a bad reputation for it, by extending shipping onto real life gay men and making insensitive comments about them. That trend ended quickly, these girls grew up, and the new generation already knew better. However, up to this date antis on Tumblr hate fujoshi and accuse them of inappropriate behavior. Here are some examples:
“mlm happiness and saftey > fujoshi’s feelings” via mlmsouji
“fujoshis are terrible. all gay people hate fujoshis. fictional gay people hate them too. even the characters they ship hate them. marvelous.” via lesbiananti (not a troll, mind you, but a known blogger who’s also antimap)
“(op was a transmed so im stealing the post) if you support fujoshi culture and sexualize gay/bi men then unfollow me because i do not respect or care for you.” via yamchass
via kissesofaprincess
Do you see the same thing I see? Quite similar, only watered down, pettyposting that antis also engage in on map topics. Just swap “gay men” for “kids” and you get it. While it’s an established fact that the overwhelming majority of modern day fujoshi don’t act inappropriately with gay men, don’t sexually harass anyone, and keep their fantasies appropriately tagged. The similarities between anti fujoshi and anti map behavior don’t end here. In both cases you can discreetly descibe a respectful fujoshi (a woman who has m/m pairings) or an anti contact map (a person who’s attracted to children, but won’t act on it because they don’t want to traumatize them), the anti’s attitude might be more favorable. I’ve seen both situations myself. But it’s the “sin” of identifying with the label of a fujoshi or a map that makes them go wild. On a side note, no, dropping either of these labels won’t lessen the harassment, siding with other fujoshi or maps produces the same effect. Both cases are a quite radical case of what I call “war on words” – attaching as much stigmatizing meanings to important labels of someone you dislike. Most maps don’t act sexually with kids, that’s a fact. Map advocates of social media co work with CSA preventing organizations and aid research. Most fujoshi don’t approach gay men inappropriately either. Many of them are not straight themselves and are well aware of how homophobia and dehumanization in media works. Yet both groups are stereotyped as sexual predators with zero sympathy for their victims. A bonus fact: as a part of posing every single m/m shipper as a fetishizing straight girl, antis erase the terms “fudanshi” and “fujin”, which is basically misgendering of male and nonbinary shippers.
Yet many fujoshi refuse to recognize the similarity. They speak up against misinformation and stigma that targets them, but believe the same things hurting maps are justified. For many of them it’s fear. There were many pro map shippers in 2017, but antis increased harassment, and by 2018 most simply dropped out. The blog called block-report-program, dedicated to documenting and reporting abuse from antis, is a good example of that. Initially they accepted the receipts of antimaps’ abuse that I provided, but ended up deleting the posts and blocking maps – not because maps did something wrong, but because antis made a scene. Some fujoshi, however, are sincerely mislead about maps and don’t seek to check their beliefs due to lack of critical thinking. I became convinced long ago that looking for unity with shippers is a dead end, they might be hurt by the same people, but the temptation to deflect that abuse and direct it towards us is too strong. Many freedom and civil rights movements end up finding someone more oppressed to toss to their abusers in attempts to uplift themselves (e.g., white women demanding voting rights and excluding black women, some gays and lesbians trying to deplatform trans people). As a strategy it doesn’t work, it’s basically “divide and conquer” by the divided’s own hands. But people walk into this trap over and over again, because they don’t learn from history.
Tags:
May. 2nd, 2020 01:34 am
They called you TG
It was him who once drew me choke
On a dozen red question marks.
I can't see it if since we spoke
Through the pain that this vision sparks.
And the other, whose words are vapor
Played with dozens of lives in my name.
I myself traced my skin like paper
And forever we split the blame.
Only you never spilled your hatred
Into artwork or scheming too,
Kept it separate, secret, sacred,
Only fed it to those two.
I'm no artist and no intriguer,
These are things I can't do for you.
But I'm tempted to pull the trigger
And to start our feud anew.
I'm no artist, but I'm a poet
I can pour this pain on pages.
You may think I am dirt, but know it,
I will curse you for endless ages.
On a dozen red question marks.
I can't see it if since we spoke
Through the pain that this vision sparks.
And the other, whose words are vapor
Played with dozens of lives in my name.
I myself traced my skin like paper
And forever we split the blame.
Only you never spilled your hatred
Into artwork or scheming too,
Kept it separate, secret, sacred,
Only fed it to those two.
I'm no artist and no intriguer,
These are things I can't do for you.
But I'm tempted to pull the trigger
And to start our feud anew.
I'm no artist, but I'm a poet
I can pour this pain on pages.
You may think I am dirt, but know it,
I will curse you for endless ages.
Tags:
Apr. 7th, 2020 08:23 pm
To a map discourse blogger
Don't be concerned with looking nice
For people who prefer you dead.
An easy start, a higher price -
You have to plan a step ahead.
All compromises are a trap
When they degrade a part of you.
A lot can fall for all this crap,
But the survivors will be few.
They're redefining who you are -
Don't let them, fight for every word.
Believe me, you can go far
As long as you are seen and heard.
Remember, they are not the norm,
They're terrorists and feed on fear.
Prepare calmly for the storm
And let it bring more people near.
Stay strong and watch them fade and sway,
The means can't justify the goal.
I see it: here comes a day
When we can rise and eat them whole.
For people who prefer you dead.
An easy start, a higher price -
You have to plan a step ahead.
All compromises are a trap
When they degrade a part of you.
A lot can fall for all this crap,
But the survivors will be few.
They're redefining who you are -
Don't let them, fight for every word.
Believe me, you can go far
As long as you are seen and heard.
Remember, they are not the norm,
They're terrorists and feed on fear.
Prepare calmly for the storm
And let it bring more people near.
Stay strong and watch them fade and sway,
The means can't justify the goal.
I see it: here comes a day
When we can rise and eat them whole.
Tags:
We were poisoned by our disgrace,
And you've hidden your head in the cloud.
It's been ages since I've seen your face,
But your voice is obnoxiously loud.
You cough out hate language like dust,
And you fight just to prove that you live.
Are you sure discredited trust
Is the thing you should try to achieve?
As you burn on your own exposure
Fire melts icy frames in my bones.
I can kiss you good-bye for the closure,
And you're left to attend to your thrones.
And you've hidden your head in the cloud.
It's been ages since I've seen your face,
But your voice is obnoxiously loud.
You cough out hate language like dust,
And you fight just to prove that you live.
Are you sure discredited trust
Is the thing you should try to achieve?
As you burn on your own exposure
Fire melts icy frames in my bones.
I can kiss you good-bye for the closure,
And you're left to attend to your thrones.
Tags:
Jan. 15th, 2020 06:11 am
(no subject)
So, two days ago Twitter banned my account. I figure I want to post here more, since I keep my WordPress for serious stuff and my Pixiv for drawings.
Here is one of my recent drawings, btw.
Here is one of my recent drawings, btw.
Tags:
Dec. 9th, 2019 05:39 am
Non-binary people and medical transition.
There is a misconception that nonbinary people are "fake trans", don't transition otherwise than socially, or detransition. Here's what I can say on this issue.
This is the only study that focused on brain differences between binary and nonbinary people that was conducted, and it validates their existence:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/22364652/
Here's something on how they transition:
"Chest surgery for nonbinary patients comprises a considerable proportion of transgender surgery practice"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/30007346/
"assigned female at birth non-binary people, who do not feel themselves to be men, are, in increasing numbers, using exogenous testosterone."
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/334777012_Reworking_Testosterone_as_a_Man's_Hormone_Non-binary_People_using_Testosterone_within_a_Binary_Gender_System
"Finally, the only study analyzing the effects of medical interventions on health of NBGQ individuals (i.e., third research question) found that NBGQ FAAB individuals, contrary to the belief that they would not need to medically affirm their gender, improved their quality of life and health after chest surgery (Esmonde et al., 2018). This result is in line with previous studies which found that both hormonal treatment (e.g., Newfield et al., 2006) and chest surgery (e.g., Agarwal et al., 2018) commonly improved the quality of life and well-being of female-to-male transgender individuals."
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6603217/
"Overall, non-binary youth (13%) were significantly less likely than binary youth (52%) to access hormone therapy, but they were more likely than binary youth to report experiencing barriers to accessing hormone therapy when needed."
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/322364079_Non-binary_youth_Access_to_gender-affirming_primary_health_care
"49% of non-binary individuals also desired hormone therapy, although only 13% of these individuals had received it, relative to 71% of binary individuals."
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/335459665_Comparing_the_health_of_non-binary_and_binary_transgender_adults_in_a_statewide_non-probability_sample
Apparently nonbinary trans people are accepted by theoretical science, but still face difficulties with practical medicine and everyday life.
"Non-binary adolescents experienced myriad forms of invalidation within multiple social contexts, which contributed to negative affective and cognitive processes, including confusion, self-doubt, rumination, and internalized shame. For many participants, the cumulative stressors related to invalidation contributed to poor mental health outcomes. Data from this study suggest that identity invalidation is a unique form of minority stress that may especially affect non-binary individuals, with significant implications for their social and emotional well-being."
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/332994345_Invalidation_Experiences_Among_Non-Binary_Adolescents
The stereotype that nonbinary people don't transition is a kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, because it leads to their medical needs being invalidated and denied. But in general, linking one's validity as a trans person to their transition is a toxic practice, since many binary trans people can't transition either. "Trans" isn't short for "transition". The word "transsexual" initially was reserved for people with a desire to have different sexual roles and/or anatomy, that included gay people (https://www.etymonline.com/word/transsexualism), and it was coined a decade before first sex change operation was conducted. Applied strictly to gender, "trans" means identifying outside of your assigned status (that's true for both "transgender" https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/transgender#other-words and "transsexual" https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/transsexual). Which can include nonbinary people too.
This is the only study that focused on brain differences between binary and nonbinary people that was conducted, and it validates their existence:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/22364652/
Here's something on how they transition:
"Chest surgery for nonbinary patients comprises a considerable proportion of transgender surgery practice"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/30007346/
"assigned female at birth non-binary people, who do not feel themselves to be men, are, in increasing numbers, using exogenous testosterone."
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/334777012_Reworking_Testosterone_as_a_Man's_Hormone_Non-binary_People_using_Testosterone_within_a_Binary_Gender_System
"Finally, the only study analyzing the effects of medical interventions on health of NBGQ individuals (i.e., third research question) found that NBGQ FAAB individuals, contrary to the belief that they would not need to medically affirm their gender, improved their quality of life and health after chest surgery (Esmonde et al., 2018). This result is in line with previous studies which found that both hormonal treatment (e.g., Newfield et al., 2006) and chest surgery (e.g., Agarwal et al., 2018) commonly improved the quality of life and well-being of female-to-male transgender individuals."
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6603217/
"Overall, non-binary youth (13%) were significantly less likely than binary youth (52%) to access hormone therapy, but they were more likely than binary youth to report experiencing barriers to accessing hormone therapy when needed."
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/322364079_Non-binary_youth_Access_to_gender-affirming_primary_health_care
"49% of non-binary individuals also desired hormone therapy, although only 13% of these individuals had received it, relative to 71% of binary individuals."
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/335459665_Comparing_the_health_of_non-binary_and_binary_transgender_adults_in_a_statewide_non-probability_sample
Apparently nonbinary trans people are accepted by theoretical science, but still face difficulties with practical medicine and everyday life.
"Non-binary adolescents experienced myriad forms of invalidation within multiple social contexts, which contributed to negative affective and cognitive processes, including confusion, self-doubt, rumination, and internalized shame. For many participants, the cumulative stressors related to invalidation contributed to poor mental health outcomes. Data from this study suggest that identity invalidation is a unique form of minority stress that may especially affect non-binary individuals, with significant implications for their social and emotional well-being."
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/332994345_Invalidation_Experiences_Among_Non-Binary_Adolescents
The stereotype that nonbinary people don't transition is a kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, because it leads to their medical needs being invalidated and denied. But in general, linking one's validity as a trans person to their transition is a toxic practice, since many binary trans people can't transition either. "Trans" isn't short for "transition". The word "transsexual" initially was reserved for people with a desire to have different sexual roles and/or anatomy, that included gay people (https://www.etymonline.com/word/transsexualism), and it was coined a decade before first sex change operation was conducted. Applied strictly to gender, "trans" means identifying outside of your assigned status (that's true for both "transgender" https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/transgender#other-words and "transsexual" https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/transsexual). Which can include nonbinary people too.
Tags:
Oct. 4th, 2019 11:39 pm
To an officer in command
Not for jokes or a dare
Not to profit or amuse
On the city's central square
Every day I voice my views.
I call out kings and masters
And defile the sacred skies.
Passers-by are walking faster
And averting guilty eyes.
Midday comes, and in the crowd
Then my glance will lock with yours,
And my voice will ring more loud,
You're my brother in the curse.
Not the one who brought me here,
Not the one who made me stay,
But the one who with no fear
Gave me roles in this play.
I will smile and bow slightly
And continue with my speech.
You may treat these meetings lightly,
But I love and treasure each.
Though scars no longer burning,
I won't make the same mistake.
However strong the yearning
There's more than us at stake.
I won't be your one and only,
You won't be my Lord and Prince.
None of us are truly lonely
When the fight for life begins.
And as friends, into the battle
We will go side by side.
Not for feelings, warm and subtle,
But for victory and pride.
Not to profit or amuse
On the city's central square
Every day I voice my views.
I call out kings and masters
And defile the sacred skies.
Passers-by are walking faster
And averting guilty eyes.
Midday comes, and in the crowd
Then my glance will lock with yours,
And my voice will ring more loud,
You're my brother in the curse.
Not the one who brought me here,
Not the one who made me stay,
But the one who with no fear
Gave me roles in this play.
I will smile and bow slightly
And continue with my speech.
You may treat these meetings lightly,
But I love and treasure each.
Though scars no longer burning,
I won't make the same mistake.
However strong the yearning
There's more than us at stake.
I won't be your one and only,
You won't be my Lord and Prince.
None of us are truly lonely
When the fight for life begins.
And as friends, into the battle
We will go side by side.
Not for feelings, warm and subtle,
But for victory and pride.
Tags:
I'm a far left authoritarian. Often dealt with people randomly assigning views to me, basing off the idea that everyone more or less close on the political spectrum shares the same values. So now I want to explain what exactly this means for me.
First off, why far left? I don't associate with any consistent leftist movements, I'm not the type of a person to call to “eat the rich” or “punch a nazi”, I don't go around talking about revolution. The reason why I'm de facto far left is that I believe in the inevitable collapse of capitalism as an economical system and its replacement with more suitable models. Market relations fail a whole lot in the post industrial era, as more and more products exist in online sharable form, more and more people claim public property. The internet is the force that will kill the market. I see my duty here as someone who observes, warns, and tries to make the change less drastic and less harmful. Socialism isn't a utopia, it's an inevitability.
I'm also an authoritarian, despite growing disgust for all current governments and laws. My reasoning is that I don't believe freedom is possible. Every society can offer only two models: the dictate of the state or the dictate of the individual. The former needs no explanation, and the latter happens when a stronger person (e.g, a parent) establishes and abuses power over a weaker one. In a stateless, truly anarchist society such occasions would be frequent. And any attempt to regulate it, whether by elected representatives, milicia, etc, would be reinvention of the government. Making the choice between two unsafe and abusive situations is tough, but I believe that it's better to have a system. People shouldn't have the right to ruin each other's lives by things like domestic abuse, denying medication, and other things that are too common in places where the government doesn't consider necessary to intrude in people's private lives.
So my ideal of the world's further development includes first going through the stage of authoritarian socialism, which will level out the differences in people's well being, and then communism, possibly not authoritarian, but existing on a whole new social step. I believe in manipulation on human nature to make people more accustomed to altruistically co existing in the collective.
As for the stereotypes that usually go with being far left, I barely fit in. I'm not pro censorship and not pro echo chamber, I don't hate sex, don't support dictators, dead or alive. But in the long run, I'm probably more left than everyone who the society sees as “far left”.
First off, why far left? I don't associate with any consistent leftist movements, I'm not the type of a person to call to “eat the rich” or “punch a nazi”, I don't go around talking about revolution. The reason why I'm de facto far left is that I believe in the inevitable collapse of capitalism as an economical system and its replacement with more suitable models. Market relations fail a whole lot in the post industrial era, as more and more products exist in online sharable form, more and more people claim public property. The internet is the force that will kill the market. I see my duty here as someone who observes, warns, and tries to make the change less drastic and less harmful. Socialism isn't a utopia, it's an inevitability.
I'm also an authoritarian, despite growing disgust for all current governments and laws. My reasoning is that I don't believe freedom is possible. Every society can offer only two models: the dictate of the state or the dictate of the individual. The former needs no explanation, and the latter happens when a stronger person (e.g, a parent) establishes and abuses power over a weaker one. In a stateless, truly anarchist society such occasions would be frequent. And any attempt to regulate it, whether by elected representatives, milicia, etc, would be reinvention of the government. Making the choice between two unsafe and abusive situations is tough, but I believe that it's better to have a system. People shouldn't have the right to ruin each other's lives by things like domestic abuse, denying medication, and other things that are too common in places where the government doesn't consider necessary to intrude in people's private lives.
So my ideal of the world's further development includes first going through the stage of authoritarian socialism, which will level out the differences in people's well being, and then communism, possibly not authoritarian, but existing on a whole new social step. I believe in manipulation on human nature to make people more accustomed to altruistically co existing in the collective.
As for the stereotypes that usually go with being far left, I barely fit in. I'm not pro censorship and not pro echo chamber, I don't hate sex, don't support dictators, dead or alive. But in the long run, I'm probably more left than everyone who the society sees as “far left”.
Speculating on tears,
Redefining “enough”
You have played with my fears
For a life and a half.
And believe me, I'm learning
And I want it to end.
Why do you keep returning
With a knife in your hand?
Cut my flesh and see fire,
Then embrace me and burn.
Don't you tell me it's dire,
That's the prize you did earn.
Watch the world as it crashes,
It won't hear your cries.
And from our ashes
I shall rise in the skies.
Redefining “enough”
You have played with my fears
For a life and a half.
And believe me, I'm learning
And I want it to end.
Why do you keep returning
With a knife in your hand?
Cut my flesh and see fire,
Then embrace me and burn.
Don't you tell me it's dire,
That's the prize you did earn.
Watch the world as it crashes,
It won't hear your cries.
And from our ashes
I shall rise in the skies.
Jun. 12th, 2019 01:28 pm
Map flag anniversary
Tomorrow is going to be the anniversary of the famous map flag, which was released by a tumblr blogger called Stenna on June 13th, 2018
Stenna was a nonbinary questioning map, back then they ran a blog called dont-mistake-our-geography. the text of the original message was the following: "ANTIS DO NOT INTERACT. The NOMAP community doesn't really have a pride flag, so in honor of pride month I designed a NOMAP pride flag. The top two stripes are blue to represent NOMAPs attracted to young boys. The bottom two stripes are pink to represent NOMAPS attracted to young girls. The inner stripes are yellow to represent childhood and general attraction to minors, regardless of their gender. The middle stripe is white to represent our innocence and unwillingness to offend. Please feel free to use this flag and make icons out of it etc! Hope you enjoy". The post hit 2k notes in mere days, most of which were hate, and Stenna deactivated their blog. Later they were a co mod ion a less known blog, cryptidsagainstantis. Their original url was taken by an anti, which later caused rumors that Stenna was a troll. But people who were there and knew Stenna accepted their gift and did make the best out of it.
I am writing this article on 12th of June, 2019, and today the amount of map flag edits, icons, moodboards is immeasurable. People made thematic map flags based on theirs, including, but not limited to, a map flag version for most common LGBT identities, and really niche and bizarre things like zombie map flag or antisocial map flag (that one was mine). Some were prompted by Stenna to design their own, unique map flags, and now these flags coexist within the map community. Stenna and their creation forever take a memorable place in map history.
This was a difficult year for the community, marked by loss first of Tumblr and then of Discord, many people, including Stenna themself, left and never came back. But the flag symbolizes unity and rebellion against the oppressive forces. The community is going to bloom in new places, and one day all the people lost will have enough bravery to return.
Stenna was a nonbinary questioning map, back then they ran a blog called dont-mistake-our-geography. the text of the original message was the following: "ANTIS DO NOT INTERACT. The NOMAP community doesn't really have a pride flag, so in honor of pride month I designed a NOMAP pride flag. The top two stripes are blue to represent NOMAPs attracted to young boys. The bottom two stripes are pink to represent NOMAPS attracted to young girls. The inner stripes are yellow to represent childhood and general attraction to minors, regardless of their gender. The middle stripe is white to represent our innocence and unwillingness to offend. Please feel free to use this flag and make icons out of it etc! Hope you enjoy". The post hit 2k notes in mere days, most of which were hate, and Stenna deactivated their blog. Later they were a co mod ion a less known blog, cryptidsagainstantis. Their original url was taken by an anti, which later caused rumors that Stenna was a troll. But people who were there and knew Stenna accepted their gift and did make the best out of it.
I am writing this article on 12th of June, 2019, and today the amount of map flag edits, icons, moodboards is immeasurable. People made thematic map flags based on theirs, including, but not limited to, a map flag version for most common LGBT identities, and really niche and bizarre things like zombie map flag or antisocial map flag (that one was mine). Some were prompted by Stenna to design their own, unique map flags, and now these flags coexist within the map community. Stenna and their creation forever take a memorable place in map history.
This was a difficult year for the community, marked by loss first of Tumblr and then of Discord, many people, including Stenna themself, left and never came back. But the flag symbolizes unity and rebellion against the oppressive forces. The community is going to bloom in new places, and one day all the people lost will have enough bravery to return.
Tags:
May. 7th, 2019 01:08 am
Party like a Nero
It takes a certain kind of mess with some certain consequences
To take down and break through all my system of defenses
Take my hand, look, it's all like through red lenses
Ain't no hoaxing and ain't no coaxing– I'm a human shaped toxin
Subconscious referral to some ferals doing doxxing
Escalated, provoked by hardcore verbal boxing
Party like a Nero, I'm your anti hero
Write like you're the next Kira, oh
Find an 'ill' inside of 'I'll'
Party like a Nero, our worth is zero
Party like a Nero, oh
Have it like you're just as vile
I've got OCD and ASPD, and stupidity
And I'm always sky high, so I never ask why
There's a lie, inside a lie, inside a lullaby
I put blood, inside a thought, inside a word, inside a post
It takes out half my brain as I try to make the most
And I never really stop unless I've got a thing to boast
I just will ghost
Party like a Nero, I'm your anti hero
Write like you're the next Kira, oh
We've got style and blocklist files
Party like a Nero, our worth is zero
Party like a Nero, oh
Have it like you're just as vile
We're the discourse spawns, we're everywhere
There's something rotten in the air
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Party like a Nero, I'm your anti hero
Write like you're the next Kira, oh
Find an 'ill' inside of 'I'll'
Party like a Nero, our worth is zero
Party like a Nero, oh
Have it like you're just as vile
Original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdYGQ7B0Vew
To take down and break through all my system of defenses
Take my hand, look, it's all like through red lenses
Ain't no hoaxing and ain't no coaxing– I'm a human shaped toxin
Subconscious referral to some ferals doing doxxing
Escalated, provoked by hardcore verbal boxing
Party like a Nero, I'm your anti hero
Write like you're the next Kira, oh
Find an 'ill' inside of 'I'll'
Party like a Nero, our worth is zero
Party like a Nero, oh
Have it like you're just as vile
I've got OCD and ASPD, and stupidity
And I'm always sky high, so I never ask why
There's a lie, inside a lie, inside a lullaby
I put blood, inside a thought, inside a word, inside a post
It takes out half my brain as I try to make the most
And I never really stop unless I've got a thing to boast
I just will ghost
Party like a Nero, I'm your anti hero
Write like you're the next Kira, oh
We've got style and blocklist files
Party like a Nero, our worth is zero
Party like a Nero, oh
Have it like you're just as vile
We're the discourse spawns, we're everywhere
There's something rotten in the air
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Party like a Nero, I'm your anti hero
Write like you're the next Kira, oh
Find an 'ill' inside of 'I'll'
Party like a Nero, our worth is zero
Party like a Nero, oh
Have it like you're just as vile
Original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdYGQ7B0Vew
Tags:
May. 2nd, 2019 03:22 pm
My experiences with kin
As those of you who followed me here all the way from tumblr know, before winter a year ago I did not consider myself a part of the otherkin community in any way. However, I was supportive of the kin folk and din't understand the amount of social pressure they're exposed to. Then I started experiencing kin feelings towards Kylo Ren. Now, over a year later, I'm adding one more character to my forming kin list - Count Lucio from the Arcana - and I want to touch the problem of attitudes to kin issues once again.
Everyone who is claiming to be otherkin online becomes a target of harassment. The messages they get include quite rude and ableist comments about mental health, accusations of ruining the image of LGBT, ruining fandoms, etc. If you ever took a look at accounts of actual kin people, you'd know that this harassment is unprovoked. Anti kin people often try to pose as well-meaning, claiming that try try to steer "naive teens" away from giving in to delusions. But even if kin people were delusional in the clinical sense (they are not, none of them believe they are some animal or character *for real*, with all the social statuses and body parts), this is not how you deal with delusions. If anti kin people really wanted to help, they'd study medical articles related to delusions and spread information about available therapists and types of medication.
There is no separate diagnosis called "otherkin". Species dysphoria and clinical lycanthropy are a different topic. But being kin can go hand in hand with widely recognized mental illnesses. In this case it either functions as a coping mechanism, or presents an unusual way of perceiving the reality (in people with low empathy, like myself), or is a combination of both. I started getting more kin attachments as my general connections with the humankind grow and strengthen. I've been training myself to find ways around my lack of empathy and start relating to people, and this is a side effect of me growing more aware of others' personalities. I regard being kin as a sign of some positive and healthy changes. And according to what I heard from those of my kin friends who are in therapy, such view is supported by many doctors.
So, my opinion is that people who try to shut down kin self expression a) don't really mean to help anyone or anything b) work against actual therapy and recovery.
Everyone who is claiming to be otherkin online becomes a target of harassment. The messages they get include quite rude and ableist comments about mental health, accusations of ruining the image of LGBT, ruining fandoms, etc. If you ever took a look at accounts of actual kin people, you'd know that this harassment is unprovoked. Anti kin people often try to pose as well-meaning, claiming that try try to steer "naive teens" away from giving in to delusions. But even if kin people were delusional in the clinical sense (they are not, none of them believe they are some animal or character *for real*, with all the social statuses and body parts), this is not how you deal with delusions. If anti kin people really wanted to help, they'd study medical articles related to delusions and spread information about available therapists and types of medication.
There is no separate diagnosis called "otherkin". Species dysphoria and clinical lycanthropy are a different topic. But being kin can go hand in hand with widely recognized mental illnesses. In this case it either functions as a coping mechanism, or presents an unusual way of perceiving the reality (in people with low empathy, like myself), or is a combination of both. I started getting more kin attachments as my general connections with the humankind grow and strengthen. I've been training myself to find ways around my lack of empathy and start relating to people, and this is a side effect of me growing more aware of others' personalities. I regard being kin as a sign of some positive and healthy changes. And according to what I heard from those of my kin friends who are in therapy, such view is supported by many doctors.
So, my opinion is that people who try to shut down kin self expression a) don't really mean to help anyone or anything b) work against actual therapy and recovery.
Tags:
Feb. 10th, 2019 11:23 pm
On teenage sexuality and pornography
There are widespread beliefs that exposure to pornography hurts teenagers, and as a result they are sheltered from any explicit materials. I've always said that it creates grounds for grooming, because with the start of puberty most human beings begin to seek sexual gratification, and everyone who can offer porn holds power over the teen. But I'd step away with my claims if there was clear evidence of harm of porn, because the risk of grooming is better than direct damage (I'll elaborate on this point later). Yet nothing of the kind was confirmed.
"Reflecting concerns over adolescents’ use of online pornography, which include fears that immersion in pornographic imagery of impersonal sex and hypersexualized bodies may have negative consequences for young people’s psychological health, this study set out to assess temporal relationships between pornography use and various aspects of adolescent mental well-being. <...> We did not find consistent evidence that pornography use was associated with negative changes in subjective well-being, symptoms of depression and anxiety, or self-esteem in either gender."
(source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6088458/)
One important note I need to make, porn should not replace sex ed, children and teens should receive information about their reproductive health from medical sources, whether at school or individually. In case when it is provided, there will be no harm from porn. Therefore there's no logical reason to make NSFW materials 18+.
"Reflecting concerns over adolescents’ use of online pornography, which include fears that immersion in pornographic imagery of impersonal sex and hypersexualized bodies may have negative consequences for young people’s psychological health, this study set out to assess temporal relationships between pornography use and various aspects of adolescent mental well-being. <...> We did not find consistent evidence that pornography use was associated with negative changes in subjective well-being, symptoms of depression and anxiety, or self-esteem in either gender."
(source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6088458/)
One important note I need to make, porn should not replace sex ed, children and teens should receive information about their reproductive health from medical sources, whether at school or individually. In case when it is provided, there will be no harm from porn. Therefore there's no logical reason to make NSFW materials 18+.
Tags:
Feb. 10th, 2019 12:11 am
Biological basis of transgenderism
""The results show that many of the genes situated on the Y chromosome are expressed in various parts of the brain prior to birth and probably provide a developmental basis for the sex-based differences exhibited by adult brains," according to Elena Jazin.
More than a third of Y-chromosomal genes appear to be involved in sex-based human brain differentiation. Some of the genetic activity in question is evident in the adult brain, while other of it only appears at earlier stages of brain development. It is yet unknown whether the differences in genetic expression among female and male brains have any functional significance."
(source: http://www.uu.se/en/news/news-document/?id=801&area=2,3,16&typ=pm&lang=en)
"The aim of this study was to investigate sex-related differences in the prenatal development of early oral, lingual, pharyngeal, and laryngeal motor activities. Sonographic images of oral-upper airway regions were observed in 85 healthy fetuses (43 males, 42 females; mean gestational age 24wks 3d [SD 0.69]; range 15-38wks). Biometric data on morphologic development and associated motor patterns were compared across second and third trimesters. Results showed that while males and females demonstrated statistically similar patterns of general physical growth (p>0.05), significant differences in development of specific lingual and pharyngeal structures were present (p<0.05). Significant differences were found for laryngeal and pharyngeal motor activity, and oral-lingual movements (p<0.05). Complex oral-motor and upper airway skills emerged earlier in females, suggesting a sex-specific trajectory of motor development. It was concluded that differential patterns of prenatal motor development may be important in defining sex-specific indices of oral skill maturation."
(source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16700938)
"Sex is determined by two chromosomes: men have one X chromosome and one Y chromosome, while women have two X chromosomes. The Y chromosome contains the SRY gene, which triggers a flood of androgens (the group of hormones that includes testosterone) sometime between six and twelve weeks of gestation, guiding the development of the penis and testes. But this fetal testosterone bath also makes its mark on the brain’s architecture, resulting in sexually dimorphic brain circuits."
(source: http://dana.org/News/Details.aspx?id=43520#_edn1)
"In the study, Verma and colleagues, including co-authors Ruben C. Gur, PhD, a professor of psychology in the department of Psychiatry, and Raquel E. Gur, MD, PhD, professor of Psychiatry, Neurology and Radiology, investigated the gender-specific differences in brain connectivity during the course of development in 949 individuals (521 females and 428 males) aged 8 to 22 years using diffusion tensor imaging (DTI). <...> In the study, the researchers found that females displayed greater connectivity in the supratentorial region, which contains the cerebrum, the largest part of the brain, between the left and right hemispheres. Males, on the other hand, displayed greater connectivity within each hemisphere. By contrast, the opposite prevailed in the cerebellum, the part of the brain that plays a major role in motor control, where males displayed greater inter-hemispheric connectivity and females displayed greater intra-hemispheric connectivity."
(source: https://www.pennmedicine.org/news/news-releases/2013/december/brain-connectivity-study-revea)
"On average, males have larger grey matter volume in bilateral amygdalae, hippocampi, anterior parahippocampal gyri, posterior cingulate gyri, precuneus, putamen and temporal poles, areas in the left posterior and anterior cingulate gyri, and areas in the cerebellum bilateral VIIb, VIIIa and Crus I lobes, left VI and right Crus II lobes. Females on average have larger volume at the right frontal pole, inferior and middle frontal gyri, pars triangularis, planum temporale/parietal operculum, anterior cingulate gyrus, insular cortex, and Heschl's gyrus; bilateral thalami and precuneus; the left parahippocampal gyrus and lateral occipital cortex (superior division)."
(source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763413003011)
"During the intrauterine period a testosterone surge masculinizes the fetal brain, whereas the absence of such a surge results in a feminine brain. As sexual differentiation of the brain takes place at a much later stage in development than sexual differentiation of the genitals, these two processes can be influenced independently of each other. Sex differences in cognition, gender identity (an individual’s perception of their own sexual identity), sexual orientation (heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality), and the risks of developing neuropsychiatric disorders are programmed into our brain during early development. There is no evidence that one’s postnatal social environment plays a crucial role in gender identity or sexual orientation. We discuss the relationships between structural and functional sex differences of various brain areas and the way they change along with any changes in the supply of sex hormones on the one hand and sex differences in behavior in health and disease on the other."
(source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0091302211000252)
"Regardless of sexual orientation, men had almost twice as many somatostatin neurons as women (P < 0.006). The number of neurons in the BSTc of male-to-female transsexuals was similar to that of the females (P = 0.83). In contrast, the neuron number of a female-to-male transsexual was found to be in the male range. Hormone treatment or sex hormone level variations in adulthood did not seem to have influenced BSTc neuron numbers. The present findings of somatostatin neuronal sex differences in the BSTc and its sex reversal in the transsexual brain clearly support the paradigm that in transsexuals sexual differentiation of the brain and genitals may go into opposite directions and point to a neurobiological basis of gender identity disorder."
(source: https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/85/5/2034/2660626)
"Antonio Guillamon‘s team at the National University of Distance Education in Madrid, Spain, think they have found a better way to spot a transsexual brain. In a study due to be published next month, the team ran MRI scans on the brains of 18 female-to-male transsexual people who’d had no treatment and compared them with those of 24 males and 19 females.
They found significant differences between male and female brains in four regions of white matter – and the female-to-male transsexual people had white matter in these regions that resembled a male brain (Journal of Psychiatric Research, DOI: 10.1016/j.jpsychires.2010.05.006). “It’s the first time it has been shown that the brains of female-to-male transsexual people are masculinised,” Guillamon says.
In a separate study, the team used the same technique to compare white matter in 18 male-to-female transsexual people with that in 19 males and 19 females. Surprisingly, in each transsexual person’s brain the structure of the white matter in the four regions was halfway between that of the males and females (Journal of Psychiatric Research, DOI: 10.1016/j.jpsychires.2010.11.007). “Their brains are not completely masculinised and not completely feminised, but they still feel female,” says Guillamon."
(source: https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20032-transsexual-differences-caught-on-brain-scan/)
(source: http://transascity.org/the-transgender-brain/)
"Transgender women tend to have brain structures that resemble cisgender women, rather than cisgender men. Two sexually dimorphic (differing between men and women) areas of the brain are often compared between men and women. The bed nucleus of the stria terminalus (BSTc) and sexually dimorphic nucleus of transgender women are more similar to those of cisgender woman than to those of cisgender men, suggesting that the general brain structure of these women is in keeping with their gender identity. <...>
(source: http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2016/gender-lines-science-transgender-identity/)
"Sexual differentiation of genitals take place in the first 2 months of pregnancy. Sexual differentiation of brain takes place in the second half of pregnancy. It is found that there is structural sex differences in the central nucleus of the bed nucleus of the stria terminalis (BSTc). Structural differences were found to be reversed in transsexual people. In humans main mechanism appears to involve a direct effect of testosterone on the developing brain. Direct effect of testosterone on developing brain in boys and lack of this effect in girls are crucial factors in the development of male and female gender identity. The origin of transsexuality is based on the fact that the differentiation of sexual organs takes place before the sexual differentiation of the brain. It was found a reversal in BSTc. In men this area is twice the size of that in women. In male-to-female transsexuals they found female BSTc."
(source: https://www.endocrine-abstracts.org/ea/0037/ea0037EP208.htm)
"A growing twin-based literature supports genetic influence on gender identity development. An international survey of adult transsexual twin pairs reported transition concordance values of 33.3 % (13 ∕ 39) for identical [monozygotic (MZ)] male pairs and 22.9 % (8 ∕ 35) for MZ female pairs. By contrast, transition concordance values for fraternal [dizygotic (DZ)] male and female twins were zero or approached zero (1 ∕ 36), consistent with genetic influence. Here, we report the first case of transsexualism in both reared apart brothers of a male-to-female MZ twin pair.
One twin (AT) committed suicide at age 35 years; therefore, interviews were conducted in 2012–2013 with the surviving co-twin (LT) at age 50 years. Prior to AT’s death, DNA testing had confirmed the twins’ monozygosity, as did a twin-typing questionnaire administered to LT. […]
LT learned that he had a twin at the age of 15 when his mother revealed this secret information inadvertently. When the twins were 15.5 years of age, LT’s mother arranged a reunion. Prior to meeting, by age 8 years both twins experienced gender discomfort, engaged in cross-dressing, and felt that they should have been born as the other gender. Also prior to meeting, both twins experienced unease with the anticipated and actual secondary sexual development of puberty. Furthermore, unbeknownst to his twin, at age 14 years LT was fully committed to undergoing sex reassignment surgery and so convinced his mother that she took him to see an urologist. Thus, both twins met the diagnostic criteria of the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) for gender dysphoria, in particular persistent cross-gender identification and a strong desire to change the sexual characteristics to those of the other gender.
Genetic effects on transsexuality are strongly indicated by this unique case study. The nature and extent of family support also affect the behavioral adjustment of transsexual individuals, as evidenced by LT’s more favorable outcome and AT’s tragic outcome."
(source: http://hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/2010to2014/2014-identical.html)
More than a third of Y-chromosomal genes appear to be involved in sex-based human brain differentiation. Some of the genetic activity in question is evident in the adult brain, while other of it only appears at earlier stages of brain development. It is yet unknown whether the differences in genetic expression among female and male brains have any functional significance."
(source: http://www.uu.se/en/news/news-document/?id=801&area=2,3,16&typ=pm&lang=en)
"The aim of this study was to investigate sex-related differences in the prenatal development of early oral, lingual, pharyngeal, and laryngeal motor activities. Sonographic images of oral-upper airway regions were observed in 85 healthy fetuses (43 males, 42 females; mean gestational age 24wks 3d [SD 0.69]; range 15-38wks). Biometric data on morphologic development and associated motor patterns were compared across second and third trimesters. Results showed that while males and females demonstrated statistically similar patterns of general physical growth (p>0.05), significant differences in development of specific lingual and pharyngeal structures were present (p<0.05). Significant differences were found for laryngeal and pharyngeal motor activity, and oral-lingual movements (p<0.05). Complex oral-motor and upper airway skills emerged earlier in females, suggesting a sex-specific trajectory of motor development. It was concluded that differential patterns of prenatal motor development may be important in defining sex-specific indices of oral skill maturation."
(source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16700938)
"Sex is determined by two chromosomes: men have one X chromosome and one Y chromosome, while women have two X chromosomes. The Y chromosome contains the SRY gene, which triggers a flood of androgens (the group of hormones that includes testosterone) sometime between six and twelve weeks of gestation, guiding the development of the penis and testes. But this fetal testosterone bath also makes its mark on the brain’s architecture, resulting in sexually dimorphic brain circuits."
(source: http://dana.org/News/Details.aspx?id=43520#_edn1)
"In the study, Verma and colleagues, including co-authors Ruben C. Gur, PhD, a professor of psychology in the department of Psychiatry, and Raquel E. Gur, MD, PhD, professor of Psychiatry, Neurology and Radiology, investigated the gender-specific differences in brain connectivity during the course of development in 949 individuals (521 females and 428 males) aged 8 to 22 years using diffusion tensor imaging (DTI). <...> In the study, the researchers found that females displayed greater connectivity in the supratentorial region, which contains the cerebrum, the largest part of the brain, between the left and right hemispheres. Males, on the other hand, displayed greater connectivity within each hemisphere. By contrast, the opposite prevailed in the cerebellum, the part of the brain that plays a major role in motor control, where males displayed greater inter-hemispheric connectivity and females displayed greater intra-hemispheric connectivity."
(source: https://www.pennmedicine.org/news/news-releases/2013/december/brain-connectivity-study-revea)
"On average, males have larger grey matter volume in bilateral amygdalae, hippocampi, anterior parahippocampal gyri, posterior cingulate gyri, precuneus, putamen and temporal poles, areas in the left posterior and anterior cingulate gyri, and areas in the cerebellum bilateral VIIb, VIIIa and Crus I lobes, left VI and right Crus II lobes. Females on average have larger volume at the right frontal pole, inferior and middle frontal gyri, pars triangularis, planum temporale/parietal operculum, anterior cingulate gyrus, insular cortex, and Heschl's gyrus; bilateral thalami and precuneus; the left parahippocampal gyrus and lateral occipital cortex (superior division)."
(source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763413003011)
"During the intrauterine period a testosterone surge masculinizes the fetal brain, whereas the absence of such a surge results in a feminine brain. As sexual differentiation of the brain takes place at a much later stage in development than sexual differentiation of the genitals, these two processes can be influenced independently of each other. Sex differences in cognition, gender identity (an individual’s perception of their own sexual identity), sexual orientation (heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality), and the risks of developing neuropsychiatric disorders are programmed into our brain during early development. There is no evidence that one’s postnatal social environment plays a crucial role in gender identity or sexual orientation. We discuss the relationships between structural and functional sex differences of various brain areas and the way they change along with any changes in the supply of sex hormones on the one hand and sex differences in behavior in health and disease on the other."
(source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0091302211000252)
"Regardless of sexual orientation, men had almost twice as many somatostatin neurons as women (P < 0.006). The number of neurons in the BSTc of male-to-female transsexuals was similar to that of the females (P = 0.83). In contrast, the neuron number of a female-to-male transsexual was found to be in the male range. Hormone treatment or sex hormone level variations in adulthood did not seem to have influenced BSTc neuron numbers. The present findings of somatostatin neuronal sex differences in the BSTc and its sex reversal in the transsexual brain clearly support the paradigm that in transsexuals sexual differentiation of the brain and genitals may go into opposite directions and point to a neurobiological basis of gender identity disorder."
(source: https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/85/5/2034/2660626)
"Antonio Guillamon‘s team at the National University of Distance Education in Madrid, Spain, think they have found a better way to spot a transsexual brain. In a study due to be published next month, the team ran MRI scans on the brains of 18 female-to-male transsexual people who’d had no treatment and compared them with those of 24 males and 19 females.
They found significant differences between male and female brains in four regions of white matter – and the female-to-male transsexual people had white matter in these regions that resembled a male brain (Journal of Psychiatric Research, DOI: 10.1016/j.jpsychires.2010.05.006). “It’s the first time it has been shown that the brains of female-to-male transsexual people are masculinised,” Guillamon says.
In a separate study, the team used the same technique to compare white matter in 18 male-to-female transsexual people with that in 19 males and 19 females. Surprisingly, in each transsexual person’s brain the structure of the white matter in the four regions was halfway between that of the males and females (Journal of Psychiatric Research, DOI: 10.1016/j.jpsychires.2010.11.007). “Their brains are not completely masculinised and not completely feminised, but they still feel female,” says Guillamon."
(source: https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20032-transsexual-differences-caught-on-brain-scan/)
(source: http://transascity.org/the-transgender-brain/)
"Transgender women tend to have brain structures that resemble cisgender women, rather than cisgender men. Two sexually dimorphic (differing between men and women) areas of the brain are often compared between men and women. The bed nucleus of the stria terminalus (BSTc) and sexually dimorphic nucleus of transgender women are more similar to those of cisgender woman than to those of cisgender men, suggesting that the general brain structure of these women is in keeping with their gender identity. <...>
(source: http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2016/gender-lines-science-transgender-identity/)
"Sexual differentiation of genitals take place in the first 2 months of pregnancy. Sexual differentiation of brain takes place in the second half of pregnancy. It is found that there is structural sex differences in the central nucleus of the bed nucleus of the stria terminalis (BSTc). Structural differences were found to be reversed in transsexual people. In humans main mechanism appears to involve a direct effect of testosterone on the developing brain. Direct effect of testosterone on developing brain in boys and lack of this effect in girls are crucial factors in the development of male and female gender identity. The origin of transsexuality is based on the fact that the differentiation of sexual organs takes place before the sexual differentiation of the brain. It was found a reversal in BSTc. In men this area is twice the size of that in women. In male-to-female transsexuals they found female BSTc."
(source: https://www.endocrine-abstracts.org/ea/0037/ea0037EP208.htm)
"A growing twin-based literature supports genetic influence on gender identity development. An international survey of adult transsexual twin pairs reported transition concordance values of 33.3 % (13 ∕ 39) for identical [monozygotic (MZ)] male pairs and 22.9 % (8 ∕ 35) for MZ female pairs. By contrast, transition concordance values for fraternal [dizygotic (DZ)] male and female twins were zero or approached zero (1 ∕ 36), consistent with genetic influence. Here, we report the first case of transsexualism in both reared apart brothers of a male-to-female MZ twin pair.
One twin (AT) committed suicide at age 35 years; therefore, interviews were conducted in 2012–2013 with the surviving co-twin (LT) at age 50 years. Prior to AT’s death, DNA testing had confirmed the twins’ monozygosity, as did a twin-typing questionnaire administered to LT. […]
LT learned that he had a twin at the age of 15 when his mother revealed this secret information inadvertently. When the twins were 15.5 years of age, LT’s mother arranged a reunion. Prior to meeting, by age 8 years both twins experienced gender discomfort, engaged in cross-dressing, and felt that they should have been born as the other gender. Also prior to meeting, both twins experienced unease with the anticipated and actual secondary sexual development of puberty. Furthermore, unbeknownst to his twin, at age 14 years LT was fully committed to undergoing sex reassignment surgery and so convinced his mother that she took him to see an urologist. Thus, both twins met the diagnostic criteria of the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) for gender dysphoria, in particular persistent cross-gender identification and a strong desire to change the sexual characteristics to those of the other gender.
Genetic effects on transsexuality are strongly indicated by this unique case study. The nature and extent of family support also affect the behavioral adjustment of transsexual individuals, as evidenced by LT’s more favorable outcome and AT’s tragic outcome."
(source: http://hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/2010to2014/2014-identical.html)
Tags:
1. If you claim to be medical, where is proof that gender dysphoria is inherent to transgenderism? DSM-5 changed "gender identity disorder" diagnosis to "gender dysphoria" to depathologize transgenderism.
"This shift reflects recognition that the disagreement between birth gender and identity may not necessarily be pathological if it does not cause the individual distress, said Robin Rosenberg, a clinical psychologist and co-author of the psychology textbook "Abnormal Psychology" (Worth Publishers, 2009). For instance, many transgender people — those who identify with a gender different than the one they were assigned at birth — are not distressed by their cross-gender identification and should not be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, Rosenberg said."
(source: https://www.livescience.com/37087-dsm-gender-dysphoria.html)
These changes caused a rather negative reaction from transmeds, but why should we listen to random bloggers instead of doctors?
2. Your movement is known for siding with unscientific people if they go against tucutes. For example, Blaire White. Yes, the "puberty blockers are hrt" Blaire White, the "hrt sterilizes people, but now I'm going to have children" Blaire White. You also spread rumors that there are cases of "mass detransition" because of non dysphoric people going on hrt, which is completely false (see my earlier post with 9 studies covering up data from 2005 to 2018 https://comrade-lecter.dreamwidth.org/2648.html). You also support an outdated statement that 85% of trans-identifying kids grow out of their dysphoria, which is used to justify denying dysphoric kids puberty blockers. While in reality the study it's based on is older than most of you and lumps dysphoric children together with gnc children. Moderns data suggests most dysphoric kids continue being dysphoric.
"55. The fifth intervenor, the Royal Children’s Hospital Gender Service in Victoria
is a specialist unit comprising of a team from multiple disciplines including
Paediatrics, Psychiatry, Psychology, Endocrinology, Gynaecology, Nursing and
Speech Pathology. Since its commencement in 2003, the Gender Service has
received 710 patient referrals including 126 between 1 January 2017 and
7 August 2017.
56. 96 per cent of all patients who were assessed and received a diagnosis of
Gender Dysphoria by the 5th intervenor from 2003 to 2017 continued to
identify as transgender or gender diverse into late adolescence. No patient who
had commenced stage 2 treatment had sought to transition back to their birth
assigned sex."
(source: https://growinguptransgender.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/602fd-rekelvin30november2017.pdf)
Why do you put ideology over the medical side of things?
3. If you don't believe that gender is anyhow connected to gender roles, why don't you call out enough, for example, artists who draw trans males as stereotypically masculine and trenders as fem/gnc? I know it's officially discouraged by the community, but yet these drawings gather more uncritical notes than any criticism. Same goes for harassment of irl gnc trans people. One of my favourite porn bloggers, a man who was on hrt for a while already, was called a trender for referring to his genitals as a "boy pussy". It all breeds a really unhealthy attitude to self love, as if it's something only a trender is capable of.
4. Many people affiliated with your community (myself included) experienced worsening of their symptoms. Some of you seem to be practicing self stigmatization to validate yourself as a "true" transgender. I saw a genuinely dysphoric trans man going back to she/her pronouns and female identity because he was denied therapy and felt like a trender, I saw a trans man feeling guilty for enjoying PIV sex, and many people talking about how their dysphoria got more severe since they joined discourse. I didn't see anything like that happening on such a global scale outside of your community.
Maybe I'll add something else to it, maybe not, so far I think it covers up all.
"This shift reflects recognition that the disagreement between birth gender and identity may not necessarily be pathological if it does not cause the individual distress, said Robin Rosenberg, a clinical psychologist and co-author of the psychology textbook "Abnormal Psychology" (Worth Publishers, 2009). For instance, many transgender people — those who identify with a gender different than the one they were assigned at birth — are not distressed by their cross-gender identification and should not be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, Rosenberg said."
(source: https://www.livescience.com/37087-dsm-gender-dysphoria.html)
These changes caused a rather negative reaction from transmeds, but why should we listen to random bloggers instead of doctors?
2. Your movement is known for siding with unscientific people if they go against tucutes. For example, Blaire White. Yes, the "puberty blockers are hrt" Blaire White, the "hrt sterilizes people, but now I'm going to have children" Blaire White. You also spread rumors that there are cases of "mass detransition" because of non dysphoric people going on hrt, which is completely false (see my earlier post with 9 studies covering up data from 2005 to 2018 https://comrade-lecter.dreamwidth.org/2648.html). You also support an outdated statement that 85% of trans-identifying kids grow out of their dysphoria, which is used to justify denying dysphoric kids puberty blockers. While in reality the study it's based on is older than most of you and lumps dysphoric children together with gnc children. Moderns data suggests most dysphoric kids continue being dysphoric.
"55. The fifth intervenor, the Royal Children’s Hospital Gender Service in Victoria
is a specialist unit comprising of a team from multiple disciplines including
Paediatrics, Psychiatry, Psychology, Endocrinology, Gynaecology, Nursing and
Speech Pathology. Since its commencement in 2003, the Gender Service has
received 710 patient referrals including 126 between 1 January 2017 and
7 August 2017.
56. 96 per cent of all patients who were assessed and received a diagnosis of
Gender Dysphoria by the 5th intervenor from 2003 to 2017 continued to
identify as transgender or gender diverse into late adolescence. No patient who
had commenced stage 2 treatment had sought to transition back to their birth
assigned sex."
(source: https://growinguptransgender.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/602fd-rekelvin30november2017.pdf)
Why do you put ideology over the medical side of things?
3. If you don't believe that gender is anyhow connected to gender roles, why don't you call out enough, for example, artists who draw trans males as stereotypically masculine and trenders as fem/gnc? I know it's officially discouraged by the community, but yet these drawings gather more uncritical notes than any criticism. Same goes for harassment of irl gnc trans people. One of my favourite porn bloggers, a man who was on hrt for a while already, was called a trender for referring to his genitals as a "boy pussy". It all breeds a really unhealthy attitude to self love, as if it's something only a trender is capable of.
4. Many people affiliated with your community (myself included) experienced worsening of their symptoms. Some of you seem to be practicing self stigmatization to validate yourself as a "true" transgender. I saw a genuinely dysphoric trans man going back to she/her pronouns and female identity because he was denied therapy and felt like a trender, I saw a trans man feeling guilty for enjoying PIV sex, and many people talking about how their dysphoria got more severe since they joined discourse. I didn't see anything like that happening on such a global scale outside of your community.
Maybe I'll add something else to it, maybe not, so far I think it covers up all.
Tags:
Jan. 23rd, 2019 07:55 pm
General thoughts of an ex transmed
I noticed that on this site I am the only one who listed "truscum" or "tucute" as an interest, and it made me think about my difficult relationships with these terms and their objective value (or lack of such).
When I for the first time seriously tried on the transgender label, I was 18. It's not like I never thought about being another gender before, but I was convinced it is supposed to go with much larger discomfort than I experienced. So I was relieved to find out nonbinary genders exist, and I classified myself as genderfluid, as it matched my periodical strong discomfort with my body and periodical feelings that I can actually enjoy it. I had no idea about the complexity of trans inner politics, but I guess my earlier position was tucute-like - learning about gender being a spectrum made me stop believing any dysphoria is necessary.
Gradually I educated myself. I shared political space with people who did not believe in trans at all, and I needed scientific sources to back myself up. I learned about sex differences in the brains and about how trans people appear as a result of mismatch between brains and genitals, and how it all expresses itself via dysphoria. This is how I developed my first conscious view on trans issues, and I called myself a transmedicalist, while still identifying as genderfluid. It did not present much of a problem on deviantart, but I faced some backlash on tumblr. Fitting in the tumblr transmed community was difficult, I was too left leaning, and quite a few were "skeptical" of my gender. At that point my dysphoria got worse. Looking back, I can see that I subconsciously tried to prove myself I'm valid, and I wanted to feel worse. Even though the transmed community on tumblr was vocally against linking dysphoria to self hate, there was still a lot of pressure towards trans men who found some parts of their bodies enjoyable of engaged in feminine activities. Selfies on guys with make-up posted in trans male tags always gathered negative comments, calling them "trenders", cis girls. Popular transmed artists drew comics picturing true trans men as traditionally masculine and "trenders" as gender non conforming and flamboyant. Like this:
It all created an unhealthy environment that pushed mentally weak people (such as myself and most of my transmed friends at that point) towars hurting themselves and others. I'm not saying it all to paint transmeds as evil, now my opinion is that they are both the perpetrators and the victims. But now I'm happy I left.
I left soon after publicly announcing that I'm male. I couldn't handle my colleagues all gathering to protect an actual transphobe (a person who claimed trans women can't be lesbians, etc) from fair criticism just because she did a good job angering SJWs and was what they called a "free thinker". For a long time after that I still held transmed views. I thought about rebranding it as transmaterialism, a movement that would basically be the same, but without any other politics influencing it, but our number never went farther than 4. For a long time I dropped trans discourse altogether.
Now I'm beginning to question my previous beliefs even more, and I seem to lean closer to my original position. There is some solid, well documented proof that transgenderism is a neurological condition linked to brain sex. But I haven't yet seen anything that would state it must cause gender dysphoria in 100% of the cases. Transmeds often start war at DSM, APA, and other official papers and organizations for being too pro tucute and not putting a heavy enough emphasis on dysphoria. But time taught me that in most cases doctors are actually right. Transmeds like saying that with new, less severe criteria for medical transition there is a growing problem of trenders going on hormone replacement therapy, and then having to detransition, but there is no medical records of such a process.
Is transmedicalism just a collective illusion of hurt and insecure people? From what I know, might as well be so.
When I for the first time seriously tried on the transgender label, I was 18. It's not like I never thought about being another gender before, but I was convinced it is supposed to go with much larger discomfort than I experienced. So I was relieved to find out nonbinary genders exist, and I classified myself as genderfluid, as it matched my periodical strong discomfort with my body and periodical feelings that I can actually enjoy it. I had no idea about the complexity of trans inner politics, but I guess my earlier position was tucute-like - learning about gender being a spectrum made me stop believing any dysphoria is necessary.
Gradually I educated myself. I shared political space with people who did not believe in trans at all, and I needed scientific sources to back myself up. I learned about sex differences in the brains and about how trans people appear as a result of mismatch between brains and genitals, and how it all expresses itself via dysphoria. This is how I developed my first conscious view on trans issues, and I called myself a transmedicalist, while still identifying as genderfluid. It did not present much of a problem on deviantart, but I faced some backlash on tumblr. Fitting in the tumblr transmed community was difficult, I was too left leaning, and quite a few were "skeptical" of my gender. At that point my dysphoria got worse. Looking back, I can see that I subconsciously tried to prove myself I'm valid, and I wanted to feel worse. Even though the transmed community on tumblr was vocally against linking dysphoria to self hate, there was still a lot of pressure towards trans men who found some parts of their bodies enjoyable of engaged in feminine activities. Selfies on guys with make-up posted in trans male tags always gathered negative comments, calling them "trenders", cis girls. Popular transmed artists drew comics picturing true trans men as traditionally masculine and "trenders" as gender non conforming and flamboyant. Like this:
It all created an unhealthy environment that pushed mentally weak people (such as myself and most of my transmed friends at that point) towars hurting themselves and others. I'm not saying it all to paint transmeds as evil, now my opinion is that they are both the perpetrators and the victims. But now I'm happy I left.
I left soon after publicly announcing that I'm male. I couldn't handle my colleagues all gathering to protect an actual transphobe (a person who claimed trans women can't be lesbians, etc) from fair criticism just because she did a good job angering SJWs and was what they called a "free thinker". For a long time after that I still held transmed views. I thought about rebranding it as transmaterialism, a movement that would basically be the same, but without any other politics influencing it, but our number never went farther than 4. For a long time I dropped trans discourse altogether.
Now I'm beginning to question my previous beliefs even more, and I seem to lean closer to my original position. There is some solid, well documented proof that transgenderism is a neurological condition linked to brain sex. But I haven't yet seen anything that would state it must cause gender dysphoria in 100% of the cases. Transmeds often start war at DSM, APA, and other official papers and organizations for being too pro tucute and not putting a heavy enough emphasis on dysphoria. But time taught me that in most cases doctors are actually right. Transmeds like saying that with new, less severe criteria for medical transition there is a growing problem of trenders going on hormone replacement therapy, and then having to detransition, but there is no medical records of such a process.
Is transmedicalism just a collective illusion of hurt and insecure people? From what I know, might as well be so.
Tags:
